I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed