I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.