COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.