She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.