My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM