When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Text me some of your sweat
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?