it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME