I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
