Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.