She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me