I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.