I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.