I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?