do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.