omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.