Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again