He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.