He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.