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See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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