It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea