whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes