Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls