His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wrigley field is MILF paradise
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?