Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Follow @tfln