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Last Night in Colorado (303)

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i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic

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(303): i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic http://tfl.nu/ibrs

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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

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At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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(303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci

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You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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(303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi

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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(303): I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer. http://tfl.nu/pliu

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Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.

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(303): Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break. http://tfl.nu/0dv9

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I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

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(303): I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cell

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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

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Oh and I threw up on myself...

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(303): Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine (303): Oh and I threw up on myself... http://tfl.nu/hxn5

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I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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(303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff

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All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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(303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc

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i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell

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That's the classiest thing you've ever said.

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(303): i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell (720): That's the classiest thing you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/sstw

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I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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(303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i

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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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(303): My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/ug5h

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she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj

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she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?

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(303): she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out? http://tfl.nu/1nw7

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I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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(303): I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :( http://tfl.nu/s6q5

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Last Night in Colorado (303)

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