Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.