I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
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just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."