That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.