Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Connecticut (203)

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  I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.

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  (203): I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do. http://tfl.nu/63i1
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  the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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  (203): the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them http://tfl.nu/iz6h
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  That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.

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  (203): That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song. http://tfl.nu/uhw8
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  I've literally never felt worse

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  My body feels like its decomposing

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  (203): I've literally never felt worse (203): My body feels like its decomposing http://tfl.nu/4u06
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  Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor

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  WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!

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  (203): Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor (203): WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?! http://tfl.nu/dwzz
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  We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?

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  (203): We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate? http://tfl.nu/bazj
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  I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.

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  (203): I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday. http://tfl.nu/b5pa
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  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
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  I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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  (203): I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts http://tfl.nu/mdva
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  Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?

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  (203): Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow? http://tfl.nu/0nq6
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  this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing

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  (203): this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing http://tfl.nu/0rfp
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  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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  (203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c
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  In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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  (203): In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window. http://tfl.nu/vk8f
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  Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know

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  (203): Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know http://tfl.nu/vvh5
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  He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?

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  (203): He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask? http://tfl.nu/1gfs
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