I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.