I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.