so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.