I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.