Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.