BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo