I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.