I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient