Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.