Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Utah (801)

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  (801): View more from Utah

  If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.

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  (801): If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run. http://tfl.nu/bk6l
  Replies (4) Good night (288) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.

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  (801): Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell. http://tfl.nu/ht90
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  Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there

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  (801): Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there http://tfl.nu/7057
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  NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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  (801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy
  Replies (7) Good night (1530) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.

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  (801): At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good. http://tfl.nu/03g0
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  Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.

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  (801): Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/ql3l
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (237)
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  You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

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  (801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l
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  Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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  (801): Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning? http://tfl.nu/nrqu
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  She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.

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  (801): She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime. http://tfl.nu/hokk
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (224)
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  I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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  (801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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  (801): You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fwv4
  Replies (5) Good night (261) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.

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  (801): Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome. http://tfl.nu/egsw
  Replies (12) Good night (913) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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  (801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp
  Replies (8) Good night (725) Bad night (283)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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  (801): He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class. http://tfl.nu/8fc4
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (633)