I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue