You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.