I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.