I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
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I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.