Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt