Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nevada (775)

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.

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  (775): Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital. http://tfl.nu/63us
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  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
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  You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

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  (775): You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper... http://tfl.nu/b471
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  Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.

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  (775): Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno. http://tfl.nu/rdsm
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  It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

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  Real life dumb and dumber

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  (775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (227)
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  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
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  You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

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  (775): You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass http://tfl.nu/qd0r
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  Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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  (775): Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program. http://tfl.nu/5e2w
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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  (775): He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants. http://tfl.nu/n2nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1268) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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  (775): Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me. http://tfl.nu/b0yd
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  Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....

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  (775): Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW.... http://tfl.nu/zpmo
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  He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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  (775): He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/4swv
  Replies (11) Good night (1859) Bad night (338)
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  If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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  (775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz
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  I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.

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  (775): I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things. http://tfl.nu/iyc1
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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  (775): By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face http://tfl.nu/uzn2
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (196)