I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.