Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.