If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.