I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.