Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (540)

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.

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  (540): First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete. http://tfl.nu/s0lg
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  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
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  just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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  (540): just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping http://tfl.nu/3wqg
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  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
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  you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"

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  (540): you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out" http://tfl.nu/77z0
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  I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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  (540): I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse. http://tfl.nu/5mjb
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  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
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  i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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  (540): i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/pwuf
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  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

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  (540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64
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  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
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  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

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  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (4227) Bad night (4985)
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  Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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  (540): Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman. http://tfl.nu/z7nz
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  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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  (540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb
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  The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!

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  (540): The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!! http://tfl.nu/g9me
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  My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard

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  (540): My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard http://tfl.nu/v78z
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