People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good