Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (530)

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  (530): View more from California

  Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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  (530): Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs. http://tfl.nu/m09k
  Replies (2) Good night (1167) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt
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  Are you setting a date to bone me?

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  Are you accepting?

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  (916): Are you setting a date to bone me? (530): Are you accepting? http://tfl.nu/jd32
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (170)
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  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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  (530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp
  Replies (4) Good night (158) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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  (530): that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own. http://tfl.nu/8cpw
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

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  (530): I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me http://tfl.nu/myp4
  Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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  (530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie
  Replies (6) Good night (868) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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  (530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (138) Order T-Shirt
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  Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places

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  (530): Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places http://tfl.nu/jh7z
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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  How on earth did you break your wrist?

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  I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

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  (530): How on earth did you break your wrist? (1-530): I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing http://tfl.nu/cks1
  Replies (2) Good night (1426) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

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  (530): Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt? http://tfl.nu/ijyj
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.

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  (530): When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck. http://tfl.nu/3nwx
  Replies (11) Good night (1579) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

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  (530): Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/hirn
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.

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  (530): It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party. http://tfl.nu/8gbx
  Replies (0) Good night (710) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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  (530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9
  Replies (5) Good night (864) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt