Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.