I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be