Texts From Last Night

Last Night in United Kingdom (+44)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner. http://tfl.nu/2gdm
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card? http://tfl.nu/fw4l
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks. http://tfl.nu/6xxg
  Replies (0) Good night (764) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs. http://tfl.nu/l0tw
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter. http://tfl.nu/dz88
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull. http://tfl.nu/b17w
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become. (+44): It turns out my teeth are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/m4n5
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (1749)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership. http://tfl.nu/vlyz
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
  Replies (8) Good night (739) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/zp27
  Replies (6) Good night (353) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!! http://tfl.nu/qwat
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever http://tfl.nu/y8hk
  Replies (29) Good night (2467) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt