Texts From Last Night

Last Night in United Kingdom (+44)

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  I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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  (+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3
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  You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.

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  (+44): You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon. http://tfl.nu/b5ax
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  We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.

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  (+44): We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever. http://tfl.nu/yqo8
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  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
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  Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.

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  (+44): Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life. http://tfl.nu/3wcp
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?

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  (+44): Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today? http://tfl.nu/cfiq
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
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  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

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  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (209)
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  Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.

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  (+44): Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10. http://tfl.nu/gv39
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  Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.

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  (+44): Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face. http://tfl.nu/j54i
  Replies (8) Good night (2187) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.

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  (+44): When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies. http://tfl.nu/0fef
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  I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.

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  (+44): I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever. http://tfl.nu/7r8h
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  I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

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  (+44): I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal. http://tfl.nu/i10i
  Replies (8) Good night (1074) Bad night (170)
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  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (1954) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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  Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.

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  (+44): Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/txm6
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (565)