belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish my penis had a tongue
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
