That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?