PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.