I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
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that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
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stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical