I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.