We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.