I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.