I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)