I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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