So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
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God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
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I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL