Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.