How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.